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THINK ABOUT THIS A SEC!!

Things that I have noticed & bother me since retirement…

1- The toasting time of a fucking English muffin with morning coffee. This should be listed under Chinese water torture. Seriously ? Two minutes for those elements to get hot, then another 3 minutes listening to the countdown! Great , not my coffee is cold. Now it starts all Over again!

2-People parking in front of my home…why? I don’t care where you’re from. Go away!

3-People using go karts in the Shop Rite…. Seriously ? It ain’t gonna get better unless you get off your ass.

4-Placing corks back into wine bottles. Yup …just a stupid idea… go ahead just finish it. Besides you’re not a waster!

5-Texting people that never answer you. I imagine this is because I just suck and I am irrelevant !

6- Clocks without minute hands…. How in the fuck are we supposed to know if someone ain’t fucking around with the time. Trust nothing !

7- Realizing anything you planned doing today, can actually be completed some other time! Just not now….

8- Finally taking notice the grass around the house really does grow all by itself… I knew it.

9- Smoke alarms actually need batteries. Yes they do.

10- “The Honey Do List” Yes the honey does work nice in my afternoon tea, early evening Jack Daniel’s, and spread on morning toast.

If you have any idea's on subject matter, geographic area's to discuss, relationships, traffic, bed wetting, your niegboors daughter let me know...I promise to do my best to obliterate that subject and put it in real laymans terms(hehehehe)!!

*Also we have had an over whelming request for the illustrated phamplet on how to "SMUGGLE GERBILS" effortlessly. We are doing are best to fill your orders quickly.In the meantime please enjoy the following video...that is if you are bright enough to have used a desent connection to view this site.

By the way has, we have recently aquired photo's of an actual "HAMPSTER CANNON" and are currently doing the best we can to get them up on the page. Please allow us to varify them with the "CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER" before the posting!! Here are some coming attractions!! 

This is the expression Hamsters have when approaching an unidentified black hole at   TERMINAL VELOCITY!!

      This is the expression of the receiver upon  GRATIFICATION!!

Oh is it just me, or has anyone else ever "FELT LIKE THIS

"EVER WONDER"

2. Ever pick your nose sitting at a traffic light in rush hour!!

3. Ever wonder why it's ok to "wipe your ass with your hand"...then "eat a shit load of french fries without a fork"! But when someone spits out a "LOOGIE"we consider that disgusting!

STRANGE

Stick your finger in your belly button.. Now swirl it around 5 times quickly.. Now smell..  Are you a filthy bastard?

How many of you are guilty of walking and farting at the same time!!

This kills me....WHAT THE FUCK DOES THE INSIDE OF YOUR NOSE SMELL LIKE? 

If a woman is "having a period".... then shouldn't she shut the hell up!!

Ever feed "PIGEONS"alka seltsa just to watch them explode!     

Look even this "BASTARD" is getting some <--------I just can't help myself!!