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We at SnappyPants are aware of the difficulties of living in todays
Society.. With Road Rage Numbnuts, Nimrods, Boneheaded
Peckerwoods, Knucklehead Dimwits, Numbskulls, Airheads, Doofus's
and Pretentious Karen's.. So we have devoted a page to Everything that
Pisses Us Off.. Every Single Day !!!
As told by
Karen.. And She would like to see the Manager..
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Living In New Jersey
I live in one of the most affluent counties in
jersey so of course you know what that means. Yes I have money so I
don't have to have any sense or manners for that matter. The other day I
walk into the post office I am carrying a very large box there are 2
doors to open to get in to the post office. you think out of the 8
people in the post office one would open the door BUT NOOOOO! so I
struggle in and put the box down. Now the guy who was following me in
who is suffering from shrunken a cranium stands right next to my box and
says ARE YOU IN LINE? so I say NO NIMROD I JUST LIKE TO HAUL
AROUND MY BIG BOX ON SATURDAY AND HANG OUT AT THE POST OFFICE AND LOOK
AT THE WANTED POSTERS YOU JUST FOLLOWED ME IN WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU
THINK? so he says OH.
So I get to the counter with my box. the
postmaster need's change so I ask does any one have change of a ten.
everyone looks at the floor after a minute or so no one says a word so I
say WELL IF ANY OF YOU HAD CHANGE WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A BUCK AND
BUY YOUR SELF'S A CLUE. everyone is so involved in there own little
world that they don't have a clue. Wait it gets better.
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We now pause briefly for a gratuitous Jersey Girl Pose
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Now you know that the speed limit is 55 so that means every body is
driving 75 so of course it only goes to reason that if the posted limit
is 65 that means you can drive 80. so what sights do you see. Well there
is always some lady putting on eye makeup in the rear view mirror as
she's driving 2 inches from your bumper. Or how about Sal cell phone yea
you know him he's driving in the middle lane 65 until his cell phone
rings and of course he has to answer it because it just might be
important so what happens now Yea you guessed it now he's driving 40 mph
in 2 lanes yapping on the cell phone now you know this Nimrod wont pull
over into the right lane yea this asshole has to slow down all the
traffic because he's the only one on the road. well let me tell you when
you see the words MACK in your mirror you should know I have no problem
sticking that bulldog on the hood right up your ass. so if you want to
talk on the phone stay home, pull over, but Get the fuck out of the
middle lane.
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Just Remember my Truck always wins
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Or how about mister
Urban Adventure. yea you know this fucken clown he's the one with the
Jeep grand Cherokee or the lexis or the Pathfinder or any other high end
SUV doing 65 in the snow or rain because he saw the commercial and he
has 4 wheel drive. Next thing you know this guys in a ditch or wrapped
around a bridge piling. " I don't know what happened officer I hit the
brakes and the truck wouldn't stop Yea no shit Sherlock
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Or Johnny Hot Rod. this is the kid who hot rods
a Honda puts on the small tires and the fart can exhaust system and lots
of go fast stickers. Now his Honda drives just like a BMW. Or how about
MR. Saturday Shopper who decides to stop in the middle lane so he can
read the sales on the windows of the stores so he doesn't have to pull
in the shopping plaza. and when he finds a place he wants to stop he
always does the Jersey Slide across Three lanes of traffic.
Or Mister NY why does everyone from NY have to
drive in the left lane? and why cant you go faster then 45? and hey why
do you have to come to jersey to shop and fuck up the traffic for? What?
Cant find anything in the 18 million stores in Manhattan? and you wonder
why there's road rage
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How about your neighbor "Karen" who goes off and a 45 minute Tirade
about how She just cleaned up all the leaves on her property from Her
own tree's mind you but now She has to clean up the 15 leaves that
blew under Your fence back on to Her property when you have NO Trees at
all on your property and then proceeds to take 27 Yes that's right 27
8x10 Color Glossy Photos with Circles and Arrows on the back of each one
depicting your Transgression and why She should be compensated for
having to clean up the Mess that You made..
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You know what else
Irks Me.. When you go by someones house.. I won't mention
SnappyPant's by name and they have NO COFFEE. I mean WTF NO COFFEE
in the house ?? What are you Thinking Ya Filthy Animal.. NO
COFFEE.. You know it wouldn't kill you to have some Danish too..
Get off your lazy ass and Go Food Shopping.. And maybe an Apple
Ring Too.. . You know Just In Case you get Company or something.
 You
See This... My Empty Coffee Cup Mocks Me !!! |
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