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It takes
more than a few thousand drug-addled henchmen to run villainsupply
It also requires the genius a talent of a group of the
World's Greatest Villains -- a group that has banded together to
form World Domination LLC. Until after The Takeover, when we'll
face each other in bloody, vicious battle until only one
remains.
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| Dr.
DeSpayr, CEO, World Domination LLC |
Welcome,
helpless mortal peon, We hope that in your ridiculous
attempt at villainy, you will purchase our merchandise
and add to our consolidation of global capital in
anticipation of The Takeover.
MAKE
A PURCHASE NOW, AND SAVE!
Save
your worthless life, that is. People who visit this site
and do not make a purchase will be pinged for location,
tracked by the nanochip you got implanted during your
"polio vaccination," and assassinated by a
team of steel-clawed midgets.
-- Dr. Freidrich E. DeSpayr, M.D., Ph.D, Ev.D, Chairman
& Chief Evil Officer, World Domination LLC |
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Dr.
Freidrich E. DeSpayr, MD, Ph.D, Ev.D
Chairman and Chief Evil
Officer, World Domination LLC
C.E.O.
Powers: 565 I.Q., powered
cerametal body armor with flight and power
blast, nanotechnological invulnerability
"Bow
down before Us now, avoid the rush."
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Commodore
Vierundsechzig
Supreme Leader of the
International Brotherhood of Rapscallions
President,
Powers:
Telekinesis, telepathy and mind control
"Ich
zerstöre Sie mit meinem riesigen Gehirn!"
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The
Preserved Head of Josef Mengele, M.D.
V.P. Medical Products, World
Domination LLC
Webmaster,
Powers:
immortality, direct mind-machine control of
World Domination computer systems; world's
leading authority on torture medical
research
"The
experiments must continue! I need more victims
-- I mean patients!"
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Violence
Princess Ai
Ninja Love Assassin, Lovely
Nippon Villain Kyen Kyen LLC
V.P. Technology (East Asia),
Powers:
Grand Master Ninja Assassin and Shaolin martial
artist, chi-channeling powers, variety of
"smart metal" body suits with
invulnerability and attack suites; master
seductress trained in all sex techniques
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Otto
Von Normalverbraücher
V.P.
Terrorism and Subversion, World Domination LLC
V.P. Business Development,
Powers:
Deadly bionic hand; radiation exposure gave him
super-strength, partial invulnerability, and
Cutaneous T-cell Lymphoma.
"Watch
this... I press this button... and everyone
in western Pennsylvania who is watching
"Full House" is blind! BLIND! BWA HA
HA HA HA HA HA!"
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Lord
Seismodeus
Marketing Director
Powers:
creates earthquakes and volcanoes at will
"'Short??
Did you just call me short???" I
summon my powers to DESTROY THIS CITY!!!"
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Sergeant
Celsius
Chief of Sales
Powers:
heat control, heat invulnerability
"Soon
the Earth will burn with the heat of a thousand
suns."
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The
Psychophant
Director, Henching
Department, World Domination LLC
Director
of Assassinations,
Accounts Receivable Dept.,
Powers:
heightened senses and reflexes; bones coated in
surgical steel; master marksman
"The
path of the righteous man is beset on all sides
by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny
of evil men. Blessed is he, who... who... oh,
fuck this shit." BLAM! BLAM!
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Tachyon
Daughter of THE SIMON
College Intern,
Powers:
super-speed
"I
was done with my work by 9:05 this morning!
Can't we get a Playstation 2 for the
office?"
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The
Absolute Defender U.K.
Superhero turned supervillain
"Heroic Psychology" Consultant, World
Domination LLC
Leader, Project "Kill The Absolute
Defender"
Advertising Copywriter
Powers:
keen detection skills, and a variety of
crime-fighting gadgets (in other words, none
whatsoever)
"Gor
blimey, one day I am a famous superhero -- I
saved the world six times -- and the next some
alien blighter on steroids starts calling
himself 'The Absolute Defender,' and I'm bloody
well forgotten. That over-muscled bastard will pay!
You'll all pay!!!"
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eVil_HaxX0r23
Chief Henchcoder,
Powers:
machine empathy, supraorbital neurolink
"J00
\/\/1LL 4ll $UFPH3R F0R p1cKi|\|G O|\| |\/|e
1|\| @\/ Cl4S$!"
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Customer
Disservice Operator Julie
Customer Disservice Phone
Center Henchperson,
Powers:
none, unless you count a chemical lobotomy and a
remote-controlled "cookie-cutter"
explosive in the base of her neck
"Yes,
sir, I understand what it says in the warranty.
But you see, sir, we were lying."
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